Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t buddies?

Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t buddies?

“Thank you”, “Hello”, “Give me… please” and some other phrases and words are among a small number of words that foreigners just in Korea learn and included in this is usually your message chingu , translated loosely as “friend”. Foreigners splice this word to their sentences that are english doubt and employ it seemingly without understanding just what it means. This really is probably certainly one of my minimum favorite words in Korean and I’ll explain why.

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Some years back, I happened to be taking lessons that are korean days per week for four hours each day. I happened to be devouring the maximum amount of as I could for the language because I happened to be dating a Korean man, almost all of my buddies had been Korean not to mention I became staying in Korea and I also wished to make life just a bit easier. Before you take the classes, I became hesitant and weary of the things I regarded as forced respect inside the guidelines of this language, elements of the language that force us to show a respect that I might not need for someone. Simply because individuals are older doesn’t suggest they always deserve respect and at that point I’d held it’s place in enough circumstances to learn that a number of, frequently, males just assumed in numerous ways that I should be respectful of them even though they disrespected me. Through the classes, I discovered simple tips to show my disapproval when being disrespected without being downright rude and I also discovered simple tips to be much more assertive in Korean. One of the primary lessons we discovered, nevertheless, had been that We have nearly no “friends” in Korea. (From here in out “friend” in parenthesis could be the Korean kind of buddy while a friend that is freestanding function as the English version.)

My better half, boyfriend during the time, and I also made a decision to have a get together at the house and invited our close friends that are korean. There were about 10 of us round the dining table and I also ended up being the only foreigner in the spot. Only at that point, I’d known my boyfriend and all sorts of of his friends for an excellent 4 or 5 years as well as in my tongue that is native would phone them my buddies. Following the food had been completed therefore the dishes acquired, a game was thought by me could be fun. Taking what I’d discovered from class on the best way to call someone by name, we said, “So-yung-a, do you wish to play a casino game?” with the reduced kind of the language. I experienced been confidence that is gaining the language and deploying it whenever i really could. There is an audible gasp and after a matter of seconds of silence, So-yung said, “yes,” but two for the more aggressively conservative people in the group told me i really couldn’t say “So-yung-a” to So-yung.

Friend 1: So-yung is avove the age of you will be.

Buddy 2: You can’t state “So-yung-a” because you’re younger than this woman is.

Me: We’re friends though.

Friend 1: No, you’re not friends with So-yung.

Me personally: What do you really mean? I’ve known her for many years. We have her telephone number during my phone. She is seen by me a whole lot. Our company is buddies and my book says this is certainly an ending that is appropriate a buddy.

Friend 2: No, you can’t be buddies than you are because she is older.

Me: I don’t determine what you’re saying.

Buddy 1: you can easily simply be buddies with somebody this is the exact same age as your self.

Me personally: Well, that doesn’t make any sense. You may be all my friends and you are clearly all over the age of i will be.

Buddy 1: We aren’t friends and family.

After because I was just told I had no friends and also because the language they were using to express their viewpoint was very aggressive and I don’t handle aggressive situations very well that I went to my room for a little cry mostly. Originating from a training standpoint, aggressively attacking students for making use of a word or a phrase inappropriately hardly ever helps make the pupil respond in a good way. Usually, the student can be more fearful to utilize the language or make an effort to use terms in the foreseeable future unless they’re completely clear on their meaning. In addition reminded my “friends” later on that We don’t assault them if they misuse a word, if it is acutely rude, We remind myself it’s not their very first language and I also attempt to assist them to understand just why it may be taken the wrong method. My “friends” but, weren’t therefore patient with my language purchase. I had taken some things and words in the book for granted not realizing they didn’t mean what it appeared they meant though I had excitingly read through my lesson books and went through discussions in my class. Two associated with more tolerant members of our group book of matches review came in to soothe me personally and explain in nicer terms what everybody had gotten so upset about.

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